Speaking and Training

Elizabeth Crary as Author

Writing is hard for me. It comes from my love of helping people, not a love of writing.

When I see a problem or concern over and over again, I try to find a solution. When I find something that helps the parents I work with, I put it into words in a way that other people can use as well.

My first book, Without Spanking or Spoiling: A Practical Approach to Toddler and Preschool Guidance, was written at a time when there were very few guidance books for parents of young children. My children were young, and I was able to find the information I needed, but I noticed that many other parents were not. So I started writing handouts for the classes I taught, and eventually the handouts became a book.

Later, when I realized that my preschool-aged daughter was more skillful at negotiation and social problem solving than her school-aged brother, I decided I needed to find a way to help him. I found some relevant research and an approach that worked for him and others. Those were the origins of Kids Can Cooperate.

While I was writing Kids Can Cooperate, I wanted to list children's books that encouraged social problem solving. All I could find were “should” books – “good kids share,” “nice kids share,” “you share by giving up what you want.” I could not find a book that showed how both kids could get their needs met, so I developed the Children's Problem Solving books (I Want It, I Can't Wait, etc.).

Similarly, when I could not find books that showed children how to think about feelings, I wrote the Dealing with Feelings series and the Feelings for Little Children series.

Elizabeth Crary at her desk

The process has continued to my most recent book, Dealing with Disappointment: Helping Kids Cope When Things Don't Go Their Way. I noticed that parents were increasingly distressed by their children's tantrums. I began to look for ways to teach children to deal with their feelings. This led to several interesting awarenesses: We need to actively offer children self-calming tools. These tools need to be tailored to the child's need, not the parent's preference. And parents need to change their role as kids grow.

Each of my books offers a different approach to a common challenge. You can read more about the book at the Parenting Press web site.

Books and Material by Elizabeth Crary

Self-calming Cards and Games. Seattle: Parenting Press, 2004.

Dealing with Disappointment: Helping Kids Cope When Things Don't Go Their Way. Seattle: Parenting Press, 2003.

The Feeling Elf Cards and Games (Illustrations by Peaco Todd). Seattle: Parenting Press, 2003.

Three Kids Can Choose books: Heidi's Irresistible Hat, Willy's Noisy Sister, and Amy's Disappearing Pickle. Seattle: Parenting Press, 2001.

Practical Tips and Tools: Understanding School-aged Children . Seattle: Parenting Press, 1999.

The Parent Report Card (with Roslyn Duffy). Seattle: Parenting Press, 1999.

Help! The Kids Are at It Again: Using Kids' Quarrels to Teach “People” Skills . Seattle: Parenting Press, 1997.

Four Feelings for Little Children board books (with Shari Steelsmith): When You're HAPPY and You Know It, When You're MAD …, When You're SHY … , and When You're SILLY … Seattle: Parenting Press, 1996.

Understanding Young Children: Tips and Tools . Seattle: Parenting Press, 1996.

Love & Limits: Guidance Tools for Creative Parenting. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1994.

Magic Tools for Child Guidance. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1994.

365 Wacky Wonderful Ways to Get Your Children to Do What You Want. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1994.

Six Dealing with Feelings books:

I'm Mad, I'm Frustrated , and I'm Proud. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1992. I'm Furious, I'm Scared, and I'm Excited. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1994.

Without Spanking or Spoiling: A Practical Approach to Toddler and Preschool Guidance , 2nd Edition. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1993.

Without Spanking or Spoiling: Leaders Guide, 2nd Edition. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1993.

Pick Up Your Socks .. and Other Skills Growing Children Need . Seattle: Parenting Press, 1990.

Historical Activity Guide to accompany A Horse's Tale. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1989.

Finders Keepers? (First in the Decision Is Yours Series for kids). Seattle: Parenting Press, 1987.

Kids Can Cooperate:A Practical Guide to Teaching Problem Solving. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1984.

Six Children's Problem Solving books:

I Want It . Seattle: Parenting Press, 1982. I Can't Wait. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1982. I Want To Play. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1982. My Name Is Not Dummy. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1983. I'm Lost. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1985. Mommy, Don't Go. Seattle: Parenting Press, 1986.

One Dozen Feeling Games . Seattle: Parenting Press, 1980.

Without Spanking or Spoiling: A Practical Approach to Toddler and Preschool Guidance, Seattle: Parenting Press, 1979.